12 posts from April 2008

Jennifer Lopez

Dressed to Kill

Una bomba inteligente autentica, Shanti is super-fly girl Jennifer Lopez!

Curvaceous and sassy and always more than willing to pawticipate with a few moves on the dance floor, Shanti moves and grooves with the best of them. But that doesn't mean it's all fun and salsa for Shanti—discipline and structure are key ingredients that have helped to put Shanti on a fur-lined fast track. Family is of utmost importance for Shanti , and she takes care of her brothers and sisters with the same dedication that she gives her little 'uns. To see and to be seen are significant parts of Shanti's daily activities, and the real-life Cleopetra makes her rounds with confidence and flair, always preferring to hang with the more bold and beautiful members of the pack.

There's this famous club in Montreal called Metropolis. Been around since Michael Jackson had an afro. Circa 1995, they used to have these big latin-salsa nights every Thursday night in the summer. My friends and I used to go quite regularly because the music was always amazing.

One night, my crazy neighbour Nathalie and I stayed until closing at 3 a.m. As we were leaving, we noticed a commotion on the sidewalk right in front of the club. We push through the crowd a little to see what's going on. These two guys--one latino, one white-- are in some kind of fight. They're circling each other in that stupid macho way. The white guy is cut across his cheek. The latino dude is holding a switchblade and yelling at the top of his lungs: "YOU WANNA FIGHT TO ME? YOU WANNA FIGHT TO ME? YOU STEAL MY WOMAN?? I KEEL TO YOU!!!"

Nathalie, who is quite plastered, thinks this is the funniest thing she's ever heard in her life. She starts shrieking with laughter and mocking the latino guy: "YOU WANNA FIGHT TO ME?? HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OMG, WHAT A LOSER!!!" I literally drag her away toward the subway entrance before she gets us both killed.

Anyway, this video, which I caught while channel surfing just now, has always reminded me of that incident. The fight scene looks like a homoerotic Lionel Richie-Darryl Hall smackdown.

I've seen this little game going around the 'hood. I haven't been tagged specifically, but I'm going to take people up on their "open call".

Here are the rules:

1- Each player starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.

2- People who are tagged, write a blog post about their own 8 random things, and post the rules.

3- At the end of your post you need to tag 8 people and include their names.

4- Don't forget to leave them a comment on their blog and tell them they've been tagged, and to come back and read your blog for the whole story.

1-I love, love, love red lipstick and own way too many tubes. I could probably wear a different shade of red every day for two weeks. If they do an autopsy when I die, they will likely discover that my guts are coated with 5 pounds of the stuff. About 10 years ago Club Monaco came out with a makeup line. They made one of my favourite shades of dramatic, dark red. It's the lipstick I wore on my wedding day. When they discontinued the line a few years ago, I bought like 10 tubes to stock up. MAC is another company that turns out amazing reds for my skin tone.

2-I have never, ever smoked a cigarette--not even a puff. Cigars yes, but regular cigs no.

3-I have natural turnout--meaning I can rotate my hip joints out so that my feet and knees are aligned at 180 degrees.

4-Mr. BrownA and I will have been in our house for 8 years this summer. Other than the house I grew up in, this is the longest I have lived at the same address. One year, because of various complicated roommate/boyfriend situations, I changed apartments five times.

5-I have never been able to ride a bike "no hands".

6-Even when I was a little kid, I couldn't do cartwheels. I would like to learn how before I get too old and decrepit.

7- I learned how to ride horses and drive cars in my 30s. The horses came first, then the driving.

8-I used to get paid to sing and play the piano. At one point I was practicing piano or harpsichord at least three hours a day, I taught music, I rented myself out as an accompanist, sang in three or four vocal ensembles, some of them professional, and had gigs at weddings. I've gone from that to no music in my life at all, other than as a listener. It's weird to have utterly moved on from something that was so obsessively all-consuming.

I tag Bobavid, Laurie, AmyH, Cranky, IG, Drude, Arbed and Yod--and anybody else who feels like it.

Cans somebody please explain wtf a "lunchbucket" voter is?

Bukkit o' stew

A bad migraine. The actual puking kind of migraine.

My neighbours all doing various yard work with loud-ass power tools, because it's a beautiful day.

These two things do not go together well, peeps.

Oh, and my bro is having a big bash at his house tonight for his 25th wedding anniversary. They're getting it catered and everything. I need to feel semi-human by then.

I should be out in the sunshine, riding my horse. Not moaning in bed with icepacks.

My parents called around noon, just as I was drifting back into sleep after another puking episode. They are staying at my bro's. They arrived Thursday night but I haven't spoken to them yet. I say hi to Momamazon--try to sound normal, don'[t want to tell her I'm sick because she'll worry, etc. Then she says, "one second, your dad wants to talk to you."

Dadamazon: "Did you get the email I sent you yesterday?"
Me: "No, I haven't signed into my hotmail in a couple of days."
DadA: "You should look at it. We can discuss it this evening."

It sounds like it could be important, so I drag my ass over to my computer to check.

It's just some STUPID JOKE he forwarded.

Discuss it later? WTF? He gets me all worried that it's some bad family news, or finance-related...

Do other people's parents do this?

Ok. I'm going to try to eat some cereal and have a hot shower and see if I can revive. Later, peeps.

Sheer silliness...

Does it get any better than this?

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