24 posts tagged “wtf”
So, GM and Segway unveiled the PUMA today.
GM is headquartered in Michigan, right?
Where it's been known to, oh, you know, SNOW from time to time.
How do they expect this thing will perform between the months of May and October?
Oh, and it looks like someone strapped a couple of toilets to my granny's wheeled shopping basket. Does this look safe to you? Do you really trust that you won't be crushed by a bus or a dumptruck?
But Segway is involved. So it must be practical and will surely be a runaway success *eyeroll*.
And of course, GM is globally recognized for its sound business plans, visionary leadership and sharply designed, well engineered products that consumers want. Oh, and the company doesn't have that carrion whiff of desperation around it at all.
I saw this ad on the local Craigslist the other day and thought it was too hilarious not to share (bold text added by me for emphasis):
"As landlords, we pride ourselves on being fair, professional, approachable, and advocates for our tenants and their rights. We uphold all of the legal rights of our tenants and then some, because satisfied tenants are the most important part of having rental housing. Not the building, the tenants. To that end we have very few rules.
One is no smoking inside the building. Unfortunately, we can’t be flexible on this because of health concerns of other tenants. But, I will provide a killer gorgeous ashtray outside to make your smoking experience more enjoyable. I would prefer my tenants not smoke for their own sake, but I’m not their parent and they make their own choices. Nix the gorgeous part, I’ll just provide the killer ashtray.
The second rule is play nice with others. Mutual respect among the tenants makes living in this building very pleasant. No one has to like each other but respect and civility go a long way in making life more enjoyable. Quirky interesting tenants are a joy to have around and I’ve learned so much from them. (Who knew buckwheat was edible? Not me.)
The last rule is paying your rent on time. That is the first of the month unless we have some other arrangement. The bank requires that I pay on time. If I tell them my dog died, my car broke down, I forgot… they look at me like I’m a clueless idiot. Banks aren’t nice. They are all about rules.
We try to be a little more human than a bank and keep our rules to a minimum. Once we start relying on rules, laws, acts, and regulations, we’ve lost the most important aspect of a landlord tenant relationship, mutual respect and open communication.
Don’t put me in the position that I have to act like a heartless banker. I can, and I will but it’s just not fun.
So if you think these three rules are reasonable, you want to enjoy living among the very best tenants in Ottawa, and deal with a fair but fun landlord, we have a one bedroom available for $897 everything included."
1-A guy can look like a garden gnome, but he'll still feel perfectly comfortable calling himself HANDSOME1969 or HOTDREAMMAN4YOU.
2-What the hell is up with this IM text: "I couldn't help noticing your many attractive qualities." Oh yeah? Name one. Right, like that isn't just some generic line you just send to every woman in your age bracket.
3-Nerdy Indian guys love me. The feeling is not mutual, alas. I just couldn't date a guy who reminds me of all my cousins.
4-There is a bad male facial hair epidemic. It must be stopped, people. It must be stopped.
5-Who posts a picture of themselves sitting at their computer at work? Seriously--WTF?. Like, you couldn't make the tiniest bit of effort?
Ummmm... I don't even know what to say about this. Just watch. At least the brown brothas mean well!
Earlier today, I realized my i.d. badge was no longer hanging from my belt loop. I just got a call from the security desk in the lobby saying someone turned it in. I go downstairs to get it. There are usually three clerks there at any given time, all pretty young.
Security girl: "May I help you?"
Me: "You guys just called about my i.d. badge? I'm here to pick it up."
SG: "Sure thing. Here it is. Can I see som i.d.?"
Me: (I start to giggle because I think she's making a joke. Then I realize she's perfectly serious.) "Um, my badge has my picture on it..."
SG: "Oh yeah." (Looks at it studiously, then at me, then at it again.) "Here you go."
I just went downstairs to get a coffee. I saw an older guy wearing a navy blue suit with a navy blue polo, navy blue socks and navy blue Mephistos.
Do you ever get the feeling they should make Garanimals for grown men, to help them dress themsleves?
I thought the Spanish basketball team making the "slitty-eyes" gesture on camera was a shoe-in for this event, but we have a surprise contender.
As you've probably heard, the amazing Jamaican runners won another gold medal today, in the men's 4X100 relay, where they also shattered a world record that had stood since 1993. The Jamaican sprinters, men and women, have dominated these Olympics. So what did the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation have to say about it?
"People are wondering just what makes those Jamaicans so fast," the voiceover said. "We think it's because [dramatic pause ] they RUN on REGGAE!" This was followed by a video montage of all the Jamaican gold medal moments set to some cheesy reggae tune.
Are you fucking kidding me? My mouth was literally hanging open.
Dumbasses.
This happened around 4 this morning. Holy shit. Thank goodness this is nowhere near anybody I know (Laurie is miles away from here). Sadly, one firefighter died. But amazingly, nobody else did--only a few injuries.
I just got Spam in my Message box!
"Samantha" thinks I'm a genius and that I should enter some bogus poetry contest that, had I clicked on the link, would not doubt have led to some porn site, or worse.
Really, this is going too far. Is it possible to have your privacy settings in such a way that only people in your neighbourhood can send you a message?
And they say nothing ever happens in Manitoba... OMFG. Warning: story is extremely gruesome.
